- FOR SALE — Anyone wishing a car of good yellow ear corn, write F. W. Weimer, Cedarville, O.
- WANTED — Lady to demonstrate gas appliances at Logan Gas office. Apply to Miss Bickel at the Gas office.
- WANTED — The public to know that Mrs. Steinhelfer's name was omitted from the telephone directory, and her phone No. is 4607.
- LOST — An umbrella in North Bucyrus Saturday forenoon while convassing [sic] for books. Finder please leave at this office and receive reward.
- WANTED — The person who took the lantern from the Mary St. dump to return to Ohio Power Co. Phone 5477.
- WANTED — All kinds of junk, and live poultry, also eggs, by Silverstein Junk & Poultry Co. Phone 5952.
Friday, June 11, 2021
Parasol thief
Wednesday, June 9, 2021
Posters of last 5 movies we watched
Tuesday, June 8, 2021
That time Tony Pérez mailed me his autograph
This is how I remember it...
Around 1983 I went through a short phase of mailing letters (plus a SASE, of course) to baseball players and asking them for their autograph.
Not many responded. But in 1983, I wrote to Tony Pérez, who had signed with the Philadelphia Phillies that January to join what would become the National League champion Wheeze Kids.1
We moved from Pennsylvania to Florida that summer, so it must have been sometime in late spring or early summer when I received a reply in our Montoursville mailbox from the 41-year-old Pérez, who had 1,500+ career RBIs under his belt at that point. Inside the envelope was Pérez's autographed 1983 Donruss card, which still showed him as a member of the Boston Red Sox. (He had played for the Red Sox from 1980 through 1982. In those days, your baseball card almost always showed who you had played for in the previous season.)
This was an extremely cool thing for a kid to receive in the mail in 1983. A quarter-century later, it was still extremely cool when I would help Ashar write letters to his favorite Phillies — his letters were longer and nicer than anything I had ever written — and we'd get a slick photo back from Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley or someone else from the 2008 World Champions. By that point, it had surely become a more streamlined system involving the Phillies' public relations department (and probably no necessary action on the player's part). Maybe that was the case in 1983, too. I'm pretty sure that's Pérez's actual autograph, but we can imagine that he just sat down once a month, signed a bunch of cards, and then let the PR interns do their thing and mail them out.
Of course, in my 12-year-old mind, Tony read all of his mail, unfolded the SASE, tucked the signed card inside, licked the envelope and walked it over to the mailbox.
A few years later — this part is hazier but let's say it was 1989 — I discovered the magic of machines at the drug store that would laminate stuff for just a couple quarters. If it's laminated, it's FOREVER, I thought. And so, yes, I had my autographed Tony Perez baseball card laminated (along with a 1983 Fleer Wade Boggs, IIRC). This is, of course, a disastrous thing to do to a baseball card or any other ephemeral collectible. But Young Chris wasn't always the sharpest tool in the shed.
Collectible-wise, the value of the Pérez card is now close to nil. But the upside, I reckon, is that I never intended to sell it, anyway. Tony Pérez mailed it to me! So I can be content that it's safe from spills and almost impossible to crease.
Footnote
1. In 2013, Philadelphia Daily News columnist Stan Hochman wrote about the origin of Wheeze Kids as the moniker for the 1983 Phillies: "They were old. So many guys in their 40s. Old baseball guys creak when they run and they run a step slower. They make a whistling, tea-kettle sound when they go first to third or second to home. Wheeze Kids, that's what I nicknamed that 1983 Phillies team, and it stuck. A spinoff of Whiz Kids, the nickname for that swaggering, young Phillies bunch that won the pennant in 1950, only to get swept by the Yankees in the World Series. Throw enough mud at the wall and some of it sticks."
Monday, June 7, 2021
I like my root beer ... sanitary
HARBOR MEN ARE FINEDThe wrath of the law was visited upon a pop bottling firm, three groceries and five bakeries on one street in Indiana Harbor yesterday by J.T. Willett, state food and drug inspector, with the assistance of Frank O'Rourke of Hammond, and Justice Funkhouser. The nine fines amounted to $317.70. Willett was loud in his praise of the judge.Those fined are:The Sanitary Bottling Works, convicted on five cases of charging pop with soda and saccarine, the last a substance 500 times as sweet as sugar, costing $2.25 as against $25 for a like amount of sugar sweeting. Total fine $110.50.1 Samuel Meyers, bakery; Trkman & Sherpter [sic?], bakery; M. Hodiesski, bakery; F. Fiedrwicz, grocery; Fred Speisak, bakery; Abe Padi, grocery; Michael Chaswood, bakery. Each fined $25.90.All these merchants hail from Cedar street. Inspector Willett says that there are other streets and he is back in Indiana Harbor today with blood in his eye. "I have warned these fellows repeatedly to clean up," said he this morning. "There is no place in the country that needs a city inspector as bad as East Chicago and Indiana Harbor. The conditions are the worst in Indiana. The walls, floors, windows and cases of the bakeries were filthy. Food was uncovered and thousands of flies were attracted to it. These things don't happen where there is inspection."
Saturday, June 5, 2021
Mars miscellanea & great podcasts
- "Diaspora" (May 20, 2019), which looks at some of the rare musical recordings made by immigrants who came to the United States in the early 1900s.
- "Reputation" (June 17, 2019), which comes with this teaser: "When a song just hits you, it’s a powerful thing. ... But what if this song – that you just discovered and can’t get enough of – was a mystery? You don’t know who wrote it, you don’t know who performed it, and you have no evidence to go on. You just have the music… looping endlessly… asking questions but answering none."
Strange recipes, including sheep sorrel pie
Thursday, June 3, 2021
Sculpted door frames ... ornamentation of a bygone era
Dear Blanche — Have outlined the roof of the hotel in which I am staying and which is just visible over the Brunnen. My address during August will be — Adelheitstr 73, Wiesbaden, Germany. Am at present down here in Austria getting up strength for next winter. Best wishes for western trip. Lovingly, [indecipherable]
Wednesday, June 2, 2021
Book cover: "Investigating UFO's"
- Title: Investigating UFO's
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how unhappy does "UFO's" with an apostrophe make Otto? In 2019, I rated it an "11," but that was just for the error appearing in the text. Its presence in the title of this book is an off-the-scale punctuation abomination.
- Author: Larry Kettelkamp
- About the author: According to the bio included in the book, Kettelkamp was born in Harvey, Illinois; graduated from the University of Illinois with a B.F.A. in painting in 1953; served two years in the Army; eventually moved to Cranberry, New Jersey; and had his lifelong hobby turn into his first published book: Magic Made Easy. Other books by Kettelkamp include Dreams; Drums, Rattles, and Bells; Haunted Houses; Kites; The Magic of Sound; Puzzle Patterns; Shadows; Sixth Sense; and Spooky Magic.
- Cover designer: Unknown
- Publisher: William Morrow and Company, New York
- Year: 1971
- Pages: 96
- Format: Hardcover
- Price: Unknown. Dust jacket is price-clipped
- Dust jacket excerpt: "Are Unidentified Flying Objects real or imaginary? Much investigation has been done on this question, but there still is no clear answer. Feeling that the objective data gathered should be made as widely available as possible, Larry Kettelkamp has written this survey on what government and civilian groups have learned to date."
- Provenance: It was clearly a library book, but the only clue I can find is a lone stamp on the inside back cover for "BINFORD I.M.C." IMC likely stands for Instructional Materials Center.
- Thanks from the author: "The author wishes to thank the following researchers for contributing materials and offering helpful suggestions:"
- Dr. Robert Jahn, Professor of Aerospace Sciences, Princeton University, Princeton, New Jersey
- Mr. Stuart Nixon, Executive Director, National Investigations Committee on Aerial Phenomenon, Inc. (NICAP), Washington, D.C.
- Mr. Richard Greenwell, Assistant Director, Aerial Phenomena Research Organization, Inc. (APRO), Tucson, Arizona
- Dr. J.M. Holman, Manager Mission Analysis, RCA Space Laboratories, Princeton, New Jersey
- First sentences: In 1966 a nationwide Gallup poll questioned Americans about UFO's, or Unidentified Flying Objects. According to the poll, more than five million Americans have seen something they believe was a flying saucer. [For context, the population of the U.S. in 1966 was about 196 million.]
- Last sentences: Many UFO reports indicate that such visitors may have been here already. This exciting possibility is what makes the study of UFO's so important and so fascinating.
- Random excerpt from middle: Unfortunately, photographs of flying saucers can be faked.
- Online review excerpt #1: Kirkus had this to say in 1971: "Overall, it's a concise if somewhat weighted summary of saucer lore, well organized and attractively laid out, by a master of far-out subjects; but the need for still another rehash is debatable."
- Online review excerpt #2: Writing on Pamphlets of Destiny in 2019, Lawrence Burton states: "Investigating UFOs is a children's book, so the language is clear, with the subject simplified to some degree, and thankfully free of the crankier tone which informs most of the writing on this topic — because this was the era of children's books being written with some sense of educational responsibility. It took me about an hour to read it cover to cover, and at no point did I feel ridiculous, and it was very enjoyable; so there you go."
- Full disclosure: I have a couple other UFO-related ephemera items in the ever-full hopper of upcoming posts, so prepare for more saucer shenanigans in 2021.
- Other full disclosure: I have never, to my knowledge, seen a UFO.
Obama tells @ezraklein he “absolutely” would like to know what the UFOs are. But he says if they’re proven to be aliens, “I would hope that the knowledge there were aliens out there would solidify people’s sense that what we have in common is a little more important.”
— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) June 1, 2021














