Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Silly thoughts on a Victorian child being attacked by gooses

"Highway Robbery" screams the caption on this 2⅜-inch-wide Victorian advertising trade card for James Pyle's Pearline, which I wrote about in much more academic and less silly fashion way back in 2012, when the world was a simpler place.

I don't know why the child is so unhappy, even with the loss of the cracker. I love gooses/geese, even when they're belligerent and cranky. You haven't truly lived until a goose has hissed at you. (Note: I am not advocating goose abuse, violence or pranks toward these animals. Always be respectful. But, given their space and treated respectfully, I find them wonderfully amusing creatures to be around. I will not be swayed on this.)

Turning to the back...

"...[I]nhaling the hot steam and odors which rise from the tub, impregnated with the filth of soiled clothing."

Man, that's just some great ad copy right there. I'm going to be the contrary one, though. Who wants pretty hands? I want hands that show the effects of outdoors work ... garden work.

I don't want computer-keyboard hands or Dorothy Lamour hands. I want the craggy hands of a soap-using witch or wizard who lives in a cottage in a far corner of Schwarzwald and practices peace and benevolence toward all the forest creatures, including passersby carrying enchanted dolls.

I do not reckon James Pyle's Pearline would have hired me for the marketing department.

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