Monday, February 19, 2018

Mom's Philadelphia Eagles
Super Bowl LII junk mail

Breaking news: It was two weeks ago today that the Philadelphia Eagles and their fans were still in a mild — OK, medium — state of shock, celebrating the team's improbable victory the night before, over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII. A parade was being planned, highlights of quarterbacks being wide receivers (with varying degrees of success) were being played on endless loops, memes were being invented left and right.

Just a week-and-a-half after the big game, I received two pieces of junk mail addressed to Mom, hawking Eagles commemorative merchandise. If nothing else, these folks definitely deserve points for moving fast, trying to capitalize on Philly fever, common-sense settings being toggled to "off," and loose wallets.

Mom has been gone for almost a year, but I suspect that I'll be receiving mail with her name for the rest of my life. She was on — and this is a precisely calculated figure — one zillion mailing lists. But I'm sure she never purchased a commemorative football. Still, the junk mailers found her.

Here, for posterity, is a look at the two advertising pitches that were addressed to Mom. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more on the way.

Danbury Mint commemorative football
For just $129, plus $9.80 shipping, you can own this "must-have" tribute to the Eagles for placement on your bookshelf or other special area of your house (perhaps the side table in your green-and-white sunkenarium, so visiting Cowboys fans are forced to look at it). It is, of course, a limited edition and you must act quickly. The pitch also states: "Our artisans are currently beginning to craft the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl LII Championship Commemorative. Due to the unique level of detail, production of this museum-quality commemorative won't be complete until early fall, but place an advance reservation now to make sure you're one of the few to acquire this unique tribute."

Museum quality, folks.

Note the Winston Churchill books on the left!

PCS Stamps & Coins
This one is pricier, since we're talking about silver coins. It's a set of "12 pure U.S. Silver Dollars, each issued in 2018 and brilliantly colorized with a different snapshot of a top Eagles player who contributed to this remarkable season." And, hey, they'll throw in a hand-numbered wooden display chest (with lock and key) free of charge!

There are only 2,018 sets (get it?) being issued, so act quickly!

Each of the 12 coins costs $99, plus $6 shipping. So you might need to dip into your retirement savings for the overall $1,260 this set will cost you. (Note: Please do not dip into your retirement savings. Contact a certified financial adviser and never take advice from an ephemera blog.)

Also, take note of the tidy profit they're making with that price. As of today, one troy ounce of silver, which is what these coins contain, sells for about $16.

Final note from the advertising pitch: "This craze is sweeping the sporting world ... and supplies are limited."

1 comment:

  1. There's a sucker born every minute, I suppose - thanks for your excellent blog, Chris! I volunteer for a local organization that processes tons of old books and I'm always coming across fascinating stuff like what you write about.